Wednesday, November 30, 2005

NOBODY had a Better Tuesday than ME!!!

I don't even know where to begin! This is the best friggin day EVER!! Not only is it almost December, bright, sunny, and a steamy 65 degrees in NYC, but I have found a diabetic oasis on a 168th St. It is the Naomi Berrie Diabetes Center, and this place is the future of diabetic care. Your entire diabetic team is under 1 roof, and its clean, and bright, and there is a place for kids to play and do homework, and everyone down to the receptionist is truly kind. They have 8,000 patients, 3,000 Type 1's, 1,800 on the pump!

Here's were things get impressive. I went into the lab where I tested my sugar with my own meter (115 thank god! there is nothing worse than being high at the endo)and then she used the extra blood on another testing strip. Within 5 min the had my A1C!!! CRAZY! They also downloaded all the tests of my meter onto the computer which I didn't even know you could do! (PS. 7/12/o5 my A1C was 9.5 and last night it was 7.2! I can't even explain how great that felt.)

Dr. Robin Goland in my new endo and is the first doctor I have dealt with during the course of this disease who talked to me (as opposed to at me), looked at me when I talked, cared about my story, and I never felt like she was rushed or my questions were stupid. She had all the time in the world for me.

She asked me to rate how I felt about diabetes on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being I hate this and I would rather be dead and 10 being I have never been happier. I choked out a 3 and then lost it. She says everyone cries but I think I broke some kind of record. At the most touching part was she teared up too.

I also got to meet Leigh who will be my diabetic educator. She herself has been a diabetic since her teens and is pregnant! When I heard that I felt like I had been punched in the chest. I couldn't breathe and started sobbing. I have been told that I wouldn't be able to have kids by some very mean and stupid people and standing before me was a young, healthy type 1 diabetic who will deliver a wonderfully healthy child. Leigh, Dr. Goland, and I all needed tissues and a deep breathe.

I have been panicked recently and I feel an amazing sense of calm today. These people care soo much about me already and we just met. I can't believe I am this lucky! I have the worst f-ing luck in the world so I guess I deserve a break!

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Kiss of Death

If you know me longer than 2 days you will know I have one true weakness when it comes to chocolate and that is peanut butter. I love it. I love the way it melts over warm brownies, or on Oreo cookies, Reece's ANYTHING, and the way you get it all over your knuckles when you are at the bottom of the jar and still trying to scoop it onto club crackers. I adore it.

As if Thanksgiving isn't hard enough as a diabetic my boyfriends house is a sugar nightmare! There are always bowls of things I shouldn't be eating lying around and I simply have no will power. I NEVER keep these sweets in the house because once I have one it is over. Kiss my control goodbye and break out the keytone strips.

BUT...The brilliant people of at Hersey's have done it again. Kisses filled with a soft and delicious Peanut Butter filling! There was a bowl of them when I got there and 4 days later they were gone. If it wasn't for the gagillion kisses I ate I would have done really well. The sad thing is S. Mom is a new Type 2 diabetic who is still serving lasagna with a heaping side of pasta followed by desert. I love her to death but she make this disease impossible at her house.

Well I am meeting with my new Endo tomorrow and should be getting started on the pump soon. I am really scared to see what my A1C will be, but I know it can't get any worse, therefore I can not fail.

PS The Diabetes Expo is in NYC Saturday Dec. 3 10-4. If you live in the area you should attend. There is nothing like a new diabetes toy to shake things up.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Crap

I have been looking forward to a whole wheat everything bagel that's all warm and toasted and smothered in melting cream cheese all weekend. Bagel Bob's has the best bagels in the city and they make mini bagels so I can actually eat them again. I don't know how anyone controls their blood sugar after eating one of those full sized monsters.

I sip my French vanilla coffee and go to take my first glorious bite of this heavenly bagel. While reaching for my "diabetes bag" to grab my insulin, my stomach drops. There is no blue diabetes bag to be found. Crap. I left it at home. Double crap. Home is in Queens and 1.5 hour, subway, round trip without delays. (which if you live on the NW line you know NEVER happens). Big fat crap. Thank the Lord my boss has a diabetic daughter because most people wouldn't be so understanding.

HOW DOES ONE FORGET THEIR INSULIN!!! Silly girl. That beautiful bagel met a tragic end in the trash can. The funny thing is, there was a moment where I actually considered eating the thing and just dealing with the high until I got home. Good morning Keytones!

Better Luck Tuesday.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Opening Day At My Blog

So mine is the @*%# Vol 1 story on the diabetesmine blog. If you haven't read it, it is kinda sad, a wee bit comical, a tad dramatic, and shows what a bad place I was in. I want to thank everyone that read it, especially those who gave such beautiful comments, and to Amy at diabetesmine, sixuntilme, and the'betes, who all gave me the courage to start trying again. It is so important to feel supported because this is a disease that can eat you alive and no one would notice. So I have been doing soo much better in the past few weeks and am meeting with a new diabetes team at the Naomi Berre center after Thanksgiving.

In the recent past I have been less than keen on sharing my diabetes tales of woe with the world because I though "who cares." Well come to find out people do. And not just other diabetics, tons of normal healthy people (ok well I don't really know if "normal healthy" people actually exist - more like non diabetics) care as well. So recently I have taken to gushing at anyone who asks.

Most people ask about the diabetes because of the Medic Alert bracelet, or the testing, or the needles (side note: has anyone else ever pretended they were shooting up something other than insulin because they were tired of people on the train/park/restaurant staring at them? I have and it is hysterical) and then another 25 questions follow. Generally people are fully freaked out to hear I got the DB for no apparent reason. I swear I had a flu bug that sounds like it could give the Avian Bird Flu a run for its money, and then came the DB. I explain the shots, the carb counting, the lows, the highs, the sugar tabs, all of it. Everyone love the stories of the lows because they tend to be quite funny once you are safe.

Anyhoo the whole point of this diatribe is that my friend Erin recently saved the life of a diabetic because of my incessant "educational" stories. She had a patron at her table who started off very talkative and became progressively quiet as the night went on. She thought maybe he had a bit to much vino, but was worried because he didn't finish his meal and was just not with it. She also assumed the woman with him was his wife and would let her know if her was not OK. After eating and paying the bill he asked for a glass of OJ. Now FYI, once you have paid and tipped your server it is time to get up and give her the table back so she can make more money, therefore most servers would ignore such request, not wanting to open a whole check for a glass of OJ and running the risk of you camping out. But Erin has a diabetic friend (Me) and so her first thought was "Steel Magnolias" and "Shelby drink the juice" and "Julia Roberts bugging out" so she got him the juice ASAP.

It was already to late. He was slumped over and not responding, drooling and unable to take any sugar. She called 911 and when the paramedic arrived it took them a full 20 min of pumping him full of sugar to get him back!!

PLEASE tell others you have diabetes! The woman he was with was not his wife, but a co worker who had not idea what was going on. I always think I will be able to deal with a low and explain the situation but this makes me think that will not always be the case. This story scares the #@$! out of me and makes me realize a few things. We have a responsiblity to ourselves and all other diabetics to talk about this disease. Many people would have thought he was drunk and left him alone. The general public has gotten their diabetes education through Steel Magnolias and that is not OK. (to be perfectly honest that was all I knew when I got diagnosed. When the school nurse said diabetes I literaly had to fight the urge to say "juice is better") We are the only ones who can change these misconception and the only way we can do that is by talking about it.

I don't mean to be preachy and as this blog progresses you will see that, but...I have recently felt very empowered by my diabetes and am determined to see it as a positive instead of a negative. My diabetes saved someone's life and that is about as positive as it gets.

I have to go test now. You should too. Bye